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|BLAME IT ON THE DOG
(A Modern History of the Fart)
By Jim Dawson
Random House $9.95
Unlike the encyclopedic Who Cut the Cheese?, the sequel, Blame It on the Dog, is broken up into fifty breezy, bite-sized chapters perfect for bathroom reading. Though there are plenty of historical references, nearly all fifty chapters are based on 21st century oddball items, unbelievable (but true) news stories, and scientific wind-breakthroughs that will leave the reader breathless, if not gasping.
Would you believe that there are people with the family name of Dumfart, and that one of them owns a gas company and another is a renowned tuba player? Would you believe that a British performer toots melodies with his asshole and farts darts across the stage? That the Pentagon is weaponizing the stench of flatulence? That a respected scientist hired people to smell farts? That a book about a farting dog went to No. 1 on the New York Times best-seller list? That girls farting in each other’s faces have become the Internet’s newest cyber starlets? That at least two world-class butt-cracking records—including longest sustained fart—were set on The Howard Stern Show?
Would you believe that hundreds of film aficionados gather in Hollywood every year at Academy Award time to bless the worst movies with an imitation fart? That a couple of champion thoroughbred racehorses were named Hoof Hearted? That a company in Iowa makes a charcoal-based thong for dogs that diminishes the odor of their farts (along with making them look really hot)? That the U.S. government funded a scientific study to find out why some turds are so buoyant, they won’t flush down the toilet (hint: fart gas is involved)? That Stephen King’s worst personal horror (at least before his roadside accident a few years ago) was having a fat girl fart on his head, and that this traumatic event has crept into a couple of his books? That many top Hollywood actors and actresses (you won’t believe who) fart on the set, sometimes during love scenes, to break the tension?
Would you believe that massive pockets of explosive methane gas under the ocean floors, created over the eons by the miniature flatulence of primitive creatures, could create overnight global warming, not to mention tsunamis greater than modern man has ever seen, if nature ever unleashes them? That NASA telemetrically let a fart on one of Saturn’s moons? That farts smell differently to gays and straights? That some fish fart as a way of communicating with each other? That a Chinese robot puppy’s electronic fart during an American airport security check created a Homeland Security alert? All this and plenty more can be found in Blame It on the Dog: A Modern History of the Fart, certain to become a classic companion to its 1999 best-selling predecessor, Who Cut the Cheese?
"My favorite dubious use of a dog in a book!"
--Jen Miller, The Philadelphia Inquirer
***** ORDER FROM AMAZON.COM *****
Fans cheer the author of Blame It on the Dog during his recent book tour.
Table of Contents
Introduction: Who Said Flatulence Will Get You Nowhere?
Chapter 1: The Powerful Little Fart: A Refresher!
Chapter 2: A Beer Fart (Almost) Heard Round the World!
Chapter 3: The Man with the Singing Sphincter!
Chapter 4: Ex Crepitus Machina!
Chapter 5: Faux Farts in a Flask!
Chapter 6: Award-Winning Wind-Cutting for Kids!
Chapter 7: The Farting Femmes of Non-Virtuous Reality!
Chapter 8: SpongeButt FartyPants!
Chapter 9: Super Man = Super Fart!
Chapter 10: It Was a Dark and Stinky Night!
Chapter 11: The Earth Farts Back!
Chapter 12: The Fickle Finger of Farts!
Chapter 13: Best-Selling Dog Farts at Man!
Chapter 14: It’s Stinky, It’s Yucky, It’s Icky, It’s You!
Chapter 15: Here I Sit All Broken Hearted!
Chapter 16: Good Old Hollywood Razzmatazz!
Chapter 17: Habit-Forming Fritters!
Chapter 18: Wanted: Fart Sniffers, No Experience Necessary!
Chapter 19: A Blast from the Pasture!
Chapter 20: A Couple of Hollywood Stinkers!
Chapter 21: Feets, Don’t Fart at Me Now!
Chapter 22: Running with the Wind at His Back!
Chapter 23: Pull My Fin!
Chapter 24: When Is a Fart Indecent?
Chapter 25: War Stinks . . . and It’s Getting Stinkier!
Chapter 26: Meet the Dumfarts!
Chapter 27: Kirk to Spock: Mind-Meld This!
Chapter 28: The Sweet Smell of Success!
Chapter 29: Our Farts Were Happy and Gay!
Chapter 30: Who Cut the Oligosaccharides?
Chapter 31: Roses Are Red, Farts Are Blue, But Only If You Light Them, Too!
© Eric Decetis. Available from Picturausa.com
Chapter 32: Le Petomane—Flatal Attraction
Chapter 33: No Farts, the Old-Fashioned Way
Chapter 34: Thank You for Not Farting
Chapter 35: The Derriere Diva: Flatulence Meets Elegance
Chapter 36: DVD, the Fart Aficionado’s Best Friend
Chapter 37: Not so Quiet on the Set
Chapter 38: Law & Odor: Crepitating Intent
Chapter 39: Stinking, Yes! Sinking, No!
Chapter 40: An Interplanetary Whiff!
Chapter 41: Two Farts Waft into a Bar . . .
Chapter 42: Fartzilla Attacks Iowa!
Chapter 43: Old Farts Just Fade Away
Chapter 44: Moby Crack
Chapter 45: Breaking the Wind Record
Chapter 46: I Tawt I Taw a Pooty Butt
Chapter 47: Hey, Farthead, What’s the Big Idea?
Chapter 48: Master Stink Blasters of the Universe!
Chapter 49: Windy Winners Take All
Chapter 50: Blame It on the Robot!
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